Are You Wining & Dining Her for Sex? Most men pay their girlfriends and wives like prostitutes—cash, dinners, vacations, jewelry, cars, homes, and clothing—in exchange for sex. Not only unnecessary and emasculating, such stupid male behavior induces “purchased and entitled” women to fake their orgasms. Like a car, a woman will take you where you guide her—assuming she’s a good match and you’re a good driver. Ignore her pings and rattles, and she’ll stop operating, strand you, or put you in a ditch.
Grow a Pair of Balls … NOW! What Men Will Learn From This Book How to know in advance she’ll be safe for you, compatible with you, and have real orgasms—so you don’t waste your time The ins and outs of female genitalia—know how to please her! How to seduce her without physical contact, money, or alcohol Why she is more sexual than you, and why that saves you money Why she likes bad boys How to make her crave you and not cheat on you
Early Praise for Under the Clitoral Hood "A provocative read. Marc Rudov had me fuming one minute, nodding the next. Any book that recognizes women as sexual beings, who don't have to be bought or boozed for sex, has my vote—especially when it describes the goods under the hood rather well!" Rebecca Rosenblat Certified Sex Therapist, TV/Radio Host www.DrDate.com "Marc Rudov’s Under the Clitoral Hood helps empower a man looking for a sincere woman—one attracted to his personality and dangling manhood, not his wallet and credit cards. A man who knows his way around a woman’s clitoris is a man who stands a good chance of capturing her heart, too." Py Kim Conant Author, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com
Under the Clitoral Hood
Under the Clitoral Hood How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper CablesTM
Marc H. Rudov
MHR Enterprises Los Gatos, CA Copyright
2007 by Marc H. Rudov
Under the Clitoral Hood
Under the Clitoral Hood How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper CablesTM By Marc H. Rudov Published by: MHR Enterprises P.O. Box 33086 Los Gatos, CA 95031-3086
[email protected] www.TheNoNonsenseMan.com
Copyright
2007 by Marc H. Rudov
All trademarks are properties of their respective owners. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast. ISBN-13: PDF eBook ed. 978-0-9745017-2-7 ISBN-10: PDF eBook ed. 0-9745017-2-7
Library of Congress Data Rudov, Marc H., under the clitoral hood: how to crank her engine without cash, booze, or jumper cables/Marc H. Rudov 1st ed. ISBN-13: 978-0-9745017-2-7 (PDF eBook) ISBN-10: 0-9745017-2-7 (PDF eBook) 1. Relationship advice 2. Self-help 3. Romance advice 4. Sex Library of Congress Control Number: 2006936781
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2007 by Marc H. Rudov
Under the Clitoral Hood
Lt. Lois Einhorn (Sean Young) Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 9-1-1? Aaal-righty then.
(From the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a trademark of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and Morgan Creek Productions
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Dedication
I have learned everything I know about women, inside and out, from the intimacy I shared with them. As I explored these women, they taught me much and also learned volumes about themselves, men, and the fruits of peer relationships. Through my varied experiencespositive and negativeI drew fundamental conclusions about what truly arouses women. And so, I thank all of them for making this book possible.
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Table of Contents PREFACE
vi
INTRODUCTION
1
CHAPTER 1: Safety First
4 4 5 6
Its Inspection Time The Blind date The First Tumble
CHAPTER 2: Deference Backfires Male Guilt Chivalry and the Great Divide The Source of Relationship Defects The Cleft of Venus Boozers Are Losers Male Power
CHAPTER 3: The Power of Aural Sex
9 9 10 14 17 19 20
Canine Lingus Her Ignition Switch Cranking Her Ignition Switch Why She Likes Bad Boys Aural Vignettes
21 21 21 24 26 28
CHAPTER 4: Is She Faking It?
30
CHAPTER 5: Under the Clitoral Hood
34 34 36
Introduction Know Her Engine
CHAPTER 6: The Test-Drive Aural Before Oral Oral Before Vaginal The Final Lap The Banana in the Tailpipe
39 40 41 43 43
CHAPTER 7: The Finish Line
45
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
46
REORDER INFORMATION
47
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PREFACE Men are totally confused about womennot because they are difficult to understand (theyre not), but because our society grants them double standards: Women are equal to men, deserving of equal pay; women are helpless victims, entitled to special privileges and rights. Hypocrisy? Nah. Larry Summers was forced out as president of Harvard University for postulating that women are scarce in higher echelons of the sciences because, perhaps, they are not well-suited. Instead of disproving his hypothesis, like scientists, women worldwide pilloried him mercilessly until he resigned. Maureen Dowd, esteemed, liberal New York Times columnist, penned a book called Are Men Necessary? As Dowd traveled the US to promote her book, she found auditoriums packed with women awaiting her misandric message. David Letterman, host of CBSs Late Show with David Letterman, commented to guest Dr. Phil: If a man would write a book called Are Women Necessary? hed be killed. Dr. Phil agreed. On Friday, September 29, 2006, ABCs 20/20 ran an hour-long segment called Gender: Its Bigger Than
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Sex. Hosts John Stossel and Deborah Roberts, and correspondent Lynn Sherr, aggregated inputs from sex experts LouAnn Brizendine and Laura Berman, maps of the female and male brains, experiments with male and female subjects, chats with smart women and moronic men, and an inane exchange with Jenny McCarthy, author and former Playboy centerfold, to conclude and claim that women are more detail-oriented and less sexual than men, and that men are weak communicators, clueless about women, and mere asterisks in childrearing. Total nonsense. Then, one hour after the 20/20 segment ended, Jessica Simpson appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Among other things, she proudly told Jay and all of America that she is sexually frustrated because shes not getting any action right now. Women constantly complain that they make only 70 cents for every dollar men earn. On May 27, 2005, ABCs John Stossel disproved this nonsenseread all about it in my blog, in Women Earn Less by Choice. Citing a recent study by Allianz Group, I demonstrated in Women to Rule Men by 2010 that American women are far more successful than they care to admit. In fact, according to Allianz, 33% more women than men graduate from college, 60% of female MBAs Copyright
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outearn their husbands, 50% of stockholders are female, and women will control 60% of US wealth in four years. Men must face and live with the plethora of double standards and mixed messages, and see women benefiting from themespecially women making good money and demanding to be taken care of, too. As a result, men find women impossible to work with, live with, and approach for romance. Ultimately, as depicted in the real-life illustration below, this frustration finds its way into the bedroom, if the bedroom is on the agenda at all. In the pages ahead, I aim to expose and remove that frustration.
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INTRODUCTION In 2004, I published The Mans No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet EarthTM. At that time, I swore Id never write a how-toget-laid primer. But, now Im doing just that. Why the about-face? Two reasons. First, few men know or care what really arouses females, who are more sexual than men. Just as a handful of men win the Indy 500, a paucity of them can crank a womans engine consistently give her real, intense orgasms. Instead of addressing her need to climax and her quest for a man who can make it happen, the typical guy serenades her. The second reason is that the misandric, entitledfemale climate has caused vitriol and distrust between men and women, who either avoid all contact with each other or meet only to hook up like animals. Few want to have relationships, fewer are capable of doing so, and most cannot enjoy sex with and satisfy each other. Under the Clitoral Hood is unlike typical books for men in the fornication genre: it doesnt belittle or treat women like sluts; its not a comprehensive manual that depicts every sexual position and technique under the sun. It teaches men how to get women to jump their
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boneswithout buying them fancy dinners, using alcohol to induce promiscuity, or employing vibrators and sexual aidsjumper cablesto combat boredom or compensate for performance inadequacy. As Ive written before, it is totally unnecessary for men to buy sex. But, every man is socialized to reach for his wallet in the presence of a pretty girl. Why? Because he is taughtwronglythat the male is more sexual than the female and that, to enter her, he first must swipe his credit card through her cleft of Venus. Nonsense! It is total bullshit. Yet, men keep doing it. In my article Her Double-Ds Can Bankrupt You, I assert that a womans economic behavior in dating (the first D) is a mirror image of what it will be in divorce (the second D). Given that an average of 50% of American marriages end in divorce and that wives bring 70% of divorce actions, a man is statistically doomed to financial ruin when he says, I do. Thats the critical reason the wining & dining mentality of men is idiotic: it attracts golddiggers, leeches, prostitutes, and thieves. To masochistically subject yourself to torture makes zero sense. If you want a whore, go to a pro. Shell bang you for money, without the restaurants or the ingratitude. If youre attracted to thieves, move to Denmark, which will steal your income at a tax rate of Copyright
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59%
no incessant nagging, either. Why bring home a
whore or a thief? Why date one? Why marry one? Indeed! A macho man, whose ego is based on deferring to, taking care of, protecting, and providing for a woman, is only digging his own grave. The more he flexes his machismo, the stronger he becomes, the deeper he digs, and the more control he cedes to his helpless woman the one he mistakenly thinks needs protecting. But, its pretty tough to feel manly at the bottom of a pit, with dirt all over your head and no ladder, isnt it? Under the Clitoral Hood is based on my extensive experiences, my observations and requests for advice from my readers, and my respectable knowledge of the legal system. Its designed to teach you how to seduce a real woman the natural wayusing your personality and sexual acumenthe way she wants it. By following my tenets, youll optimize your ability to find a reasonable, fair-minded, man-loving womanone who craves you for you. When finding such a woman, youll know that the secret to cranking her enginewithout cash, booze, or jumper cableslies under her clitoral hood. So, lets crack open this hood to understand whats happening inside.
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CHAPTER 1: Safety First Its Inspection Time The guidance I provide in the following pages is highly effective. The results will amaze you. You will meet women who are stronger matches than before, and your sex with them will be far better than what you are experiencing today. Like all success, however, success with women comes at a price. That price is finding women who are loving, giving, reciprocating, affectionate, amorous, sexually skilled, and bereft of any psychological and physiological maladies. In other words, she must be reliable and safe. Never fail to perform the requisite smog (nonsense) and safety inspections before driving her. Most reproductive and civil rights in the USA and many countriesbelong to women. A man not safeguarding himself against misandric women who would exploit this situation puts himself at great risk. Accordingly, failing to perform a safety inspection of each potential paramour is as dangerous as driving an unsafe Formula 1TM car on an oilslick-laden track. A man called into the Armstrong & Getty Show in San Francisco to relate a shocking but all-too-common story. He had met a woman at a party, where they found Copyright
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a room to have consensual sex. He decided she wasnt his cup of tea and didnt call her afterwards. To avenge his faux pas, she formally accused him of rape. Based solely on her account of events, the police went to his workplace, cuffed him in front of his coworkers, and put him in jail. Eventually, she admitted to fabricating the whole ordealthereby committing a felonybut was not prosecuted. This is typical, and it can happen to you. Let me reiterate: Never fail to perform the requisite smog (nonsense) and safety inspections before driving her. The Blind Date If your first date is going to be a blind datenow common in this Internet ageDO NOT meet her unless both of you have approved each others visage through your respective webcams (review my NoNonsense Rules of Internet Dating). Only schmucks ignore this advice. Be honest while webcamming, and pay attention to her body language, facial expressions, and words. Did you really like her? Did she really like you? If either party is unsure, you probably shouldnt meet. Assuming the webcam session(s) float both of your boats, it is time to meet. I strongly recommend someplace cheap and quiet. First, you MUST get her agreement that she will 1) meet you in a public place Copyright
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and 2) pay half the cost of whatever you two do or consume. Do not pick her up in your car, and do not tolerate any of her immature nonsense about needing to feel special when a man pays for her. If she doesnt agree to both of these terms meeting in a mutually convenient, inexpensive place and paying halfend the dialogue. Shes an entitled bitch. The First Tumble The first time you climb into bed with a new woman, you are putting yourself at risk, as you really dont know her. Do not engage in sexual intercourse with her unless you use condoms and you are certain that: 1. She is not a vindictive psycho who will call 911 afterwards to accuse you of assault or rapeespecially if you announce that you dont want to see her again or never call her again 2. She has no sexually transmitted diseases: herpes, HPV, chlamydia, AIDS, etc. 3. She is taking birth control 4. She does not want a child and will get an abortion in case of an unintended pregnancyin other words, she is not trying to entrap you into 18 years of child support through maternity fraud.
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Regarding point #1, read my article Will She Call 911 on You? Also, ask her if shes ever called 911 on a guy before, and under what circumstances. Use your trained powers of observation to judge her. If she begins divulging clues about abusive guys in her past, get the hell out of her house, immediately. Abuse is in her past for a reason; dont allow it to be in your present. Confront her directly about point #2 (STDs) and points #3 & #4 (birth control and accidental pregnancy). Dont wimp out! Look into her eyes when she answers you. Is she telling the truth or lying? Todays emotionally disconnected society is a sea of lies. Tread with caution. An acquaintance recently told me that her female OB-GYN counseled her to conceal her herpes from menthats right: a member of the medical establishment advocated that one person put another at risk. Disgusting! If you have an STD and dont inform your partners, shame on you. Hollywood has made it acceptable and trendy to produce bastard children. Family courts have endowed a neat reward system for women who pop out bastards: Spread your legs; get a check. So, you must ascertain the likelihood that the woman you are banging will fraudulently become an unwed mother. How? Look at her life and her orientation. Ask yourself what she has Copyright
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to lose by becoming pregnant. If she has nothing to lose, be afraid. Be very afraid. It is highly unlikely (nothing is certain) a woman will become an unwed mother if she has legitimate children, strong family ties, respect in her community, and a busy life. If she embraces the traditional concept of shame, she wont risk incurring alienation and resentment from her children, parents, siblings, and friendsand looking like a jackass whore with a baby bump at the office and the fitness club. If, however, she: 1) already has illegitimate children, 2) has no professional future, or 3) is in her late 40s and still childless, she is highly likely to produce a bastard child. Its cool. Angelina Jolie did it. Katie Holmes did it. Disgrace is obsolete. The traditional family is so yesterday. Theres child-support income for 18 years. Newsflash: This woman can be dangerous. So, if you doubt her mental or emotional stability, or suspect she sees you as a combination ATM/sperm donoreven if you have no evidence but your sixthsense gives you an uneasy feelingI advise you to halt the foreplay and to go home. A half-hour of sleeping with the enemy can lead to a lifetime of hell. The domesticviolence and reproductive laws in the US are on her side, not yours! You must grasp this. Copyright
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CHAPTER 2: Deference Backfires Male Guilt Thomas L. Friedman, New York Times columnist and author of bestseller The World is Flat, wrote a syndicated op-ed piece that ran on October 2, 2006. In it, Friedman asserted that treating Muslims with politically correct, kid-glove deference, instead of challenging, engaging, and criticizing them, is insulting. Conversely, holding them accountable as peers, as adults, for all their terrorism, is a sign of respect. Friedmans message echoes my oft-expressed disdain of male deference towards women. In Playing Abortion Chess, I articulated my concept of male guilt to explain the root of deference and why it backfires: To fathom the genesis of American misandry, I look to Shelby Steele, a black research fellow at the Hoover Institution of Stanford University. Dr. Steele authored White Guilt: How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era. Steele claims that, because of history, whites are forever stigmatized as racists and accused of blaming the victims if they encourage blacks to engage in hard work, selfreliance, and moral responsibility. Because of white guilt, blacks continue to play victims, receive deferential treatment from whites, and make excuses for not growing.
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Strident feminism has analogously stigmatized men, also effecting a destructive outcome: lawmakers, governors, presidents, judges, and jurists have male guilt. They erroneously view women as victims, defer to them, and tolerate their excuses for not growingperpetuating the endless cycle of unwed motherhood and blaming men for their mistakes. Deference infiltrates dating dynamics, especially in money matters. Whenever a guy delivers his pedestal sermon, he invariably rationalizes his fear of rocking the pussy boat over a $50 dinner tab by opining that girls are born feeling entitled. What a well-vaginized eunuch. Statistically speaking, this guy will more than realize his fear in family court, when that pussy boat capsizes at a cost of $500K or $5M or $50M. If hes not man enough to skipper his own wallet, his femme will effect a mutiny, take the tillerand throw his ass overboard. Deference backfires. Chivalry and the Great Divide Whats the difference between a brat and a wellbehaved child? The brat has too many privileges and never hears no. Isnt the same true of entitled women? Thats no accident. Blame the men who cant say no to their daughters, girlfriends, wives, and female political constituents. Deference, false nobility rooted in male
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guilt, backfires: It creates a great divide between the genders. Recently, I was in the breakfast aisle of my local Safeway, where a little boy, seated in a shopping cart, whined his father into near-hysteria over cereal choices. The father was unwilling to put down his foot, say no, and show the kid who was bossa pathetic but all-toocommon sight. I had such a strong urge to grab this politically correct wimp by his collar and give him his first pair of balls. In the same week, I had a phone conversation with a potential paramoura beautiful woman earning a six-figure salary and, as a Google search proved, quite accomplished in her field. Yet, after learning about the premise of my first book and my recent appearance on The Tom Leykis Show, her ebullience quickly devolved into indignation: She didnt share my men-and-womenare-peers philosophy, instead asserting her female right to feel special as my dinner guest. You are asking me to change the way I was raised! she exclaimed. My rejoinder: What about a man feeling special, or is that only the womans turf? No answer from her. I continued: You and I were raised in an era when society frowned on women becoming CEOs, judges, and surgeons, and earning big Copyright
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money. Yet, you overcame that upbringing to succeed in business, right? She agreed. I further queried: How, then, can you cling to this disempowering, hypocritical belief that women need deference from men, as if they are uneducated, helpless, and unaccomplished? Again, she had no answer. How are these two events connected? Each one was a display of childish, immature behavior. The boy did have an excuse: he is a child. But, by tolerating it and not laying down the law, his father unwittingly encouraged many repeat performances. The grown woman, my professional peer, had no excuse for her behavior, and I didnt tolerate it. With her narcissism, she had reduced herself to a little girl, and I did lay down the law: No soup for you! Chivalry, deference to women, is a booster seat for girls in adult bodies! A woman demanding chivalry is really a girl saying: Im inadequate. I need a booster seat. Such self-denigration occurs for two reasons: 1) the woman thinks little of herself and of men; 2) most men carry booster seatsunilateral wining, dining, vacationing, and bejewelinginsisting that women sit on them. Such dysfunction speaks volumes about both parties.
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A chivalrous man will pay a HUGE price for his largesse: a lifetime of carrying her booster seat, from dating
to the engagement
to the wedding
through the marriage
and all the way to, through, and after divorce court. Somehow, the thought of a woman sitting in a booster seat, having real orgasms, doesnt compute in my brain. Chivalry and deference are forms of what I call benevolent sexism, or BS. Coincidentally, the booster seat, a metaphor for chivalry, is also BS. No matter how you slice it, chivalry is BS, deference is BS, the great divide is BS. BS demeans both men and women. This great divide pervades all facets of life, engendering mutual mistrust and manipulation. It is so caustic that men and women nowadays seek not to love each other but to deflect and avoid reciprocated pain. The great divide prevents a man and woman from
viewing, communicating with, and treating each other as a peer. He will wine & dine her in exchange for sex; she will happily accept, even require, the deal. They avoid honest confrontation or challenge, even about obsolete dating protocolsshe out of fear that he will cut his largesse, he out of fear that she will close her legs. Such spineless behavior, in an era of gender equality, renders him a eunuch and her a whore. Peers have no fears. Copyright
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The Source of Relationship Defects Like a defective car that never operates properly, a relationship rolling off the assembly line with defects will be plagued with irreparable bugs. Relationship defects are installed in the first e-mail exchange or telephone chat and then become baked in on the first date. A non-peer relationship is a defective relationship that will spend most of its time in the shop, up on the rack, hopelessly in search of a nonexistent repair. Traditionalists still believe that, in the mating ritual, the man should unilaterally pursue the woman. The man calls the woman. The man arranges the date. The man picks up the woman to drive her to the date. The man pays for the date. The man initiates the goodnight kiss. The man returns the woman to her Copyright
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home. The man calls the next day to thank her for allowing him the privilege of spending his money on her. Then, the man calls a few days hence to determine whether this woman is available again for another opportunity to entertain her. Yes, in 2007, when women are doctors, lawyers, CEOs, judges, senators, university presidents, generals, prime ministers, pilots, mayors, and governors, the majority of romancers still play this obsolete, disempowering game. Why is that? In a word: socialization. Men have been taught, socialized, and conditioned to believe that they are supposed to play offense. And, the chase makes them feel in control, powerful, and able to choose the best babes this planet has to offer. Women, conversely, are taught to play defense, imbued with control and power they can wield to decide if, when, where, and whether. This football-like ritual made sense when women could not vote, get credit, own property, or be the R&D chief of Xerox. But, it sure as hell doesnt make sense today. The beauty of a football metaphor is that it perfectly illustrates the negative consequences of unilateral pursuit. If this mating ritual is so counterproductive, why, then, do people continue engaging in it? Whores and eunuchs fear change.
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Over the years, I have met countless highly accomplished, educated, and financially comfortable women who both love and insist on men pursuing them. Their explanations were always in this vein: The chase makes them feel special and desirable. By lowering themselves to approaching and chasing men, they will lose all vestiges of their prized femininity and feel desperate and unattractive. They no longer will be the apples high in the tree, just beyond reach, where only skilled ladder-climbers can hope to get them. Instead, they will become as common as the ones at eye level or, worse, those that have fallen to the ground, easy to scoop up and place in the basket. Moreover, how will they explain to their mothers and girlfriends that they have stepped off their proverbial pedestals? One can only imagine. Unilateral pursuit, another result of deference and the great divide, is a horrible practice for both the pursuers and the pursued. Unilateral pursuit makes a man assume the role of aggressor and bounty-seeker, thereby reducing the likelihood that the pursued woman will have real orgasms when he finally nails her. The unilaterally pursued woman renders herself the target, prize, conquest, acquired asset. According to The Golden Rule, those with the gold make the rules. Because the man in this scenario has to bankroll and drive the courting ritual, he, by definition, is the one
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with the gold. He, therefore, will and should set the rules. Thats life: theres no such thing as a free lunch. It follows, therefore, that the pursued woman, wittingly or unwittingly, is setting herself up to become the mans property, his acquired asset. Returning to our football metaphor, she is, in effect, making herself the end zone and him the running back exerting great skill and strength to score the touchdown. Weve all witnessed the touchdown ego dance, right? Thats how a man feels when he scores with a girl who has required him to endure many yards and impediments to reach his goal: her. Now, I ask you: Is there anything about this scenario that presages a peer relationship of mutual respect and admiration? Hardly. In fact, it has the opposite effect: the participants will have sex, but her orgasms, more likely than not, will be fake. He will get his trophy, but it will be purchased and made of plastic. The Cleft of Venus The great divide is a good metaphor for the pussy crackthe cleft of Venus. Nowhere are men and women more divided than in the bedroom. For example, after a guy goes out with a girl, his buddies might ask him if he got lucky. In street argot, getting lucky means that she
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deemed him worthy to have his way with her. Lucky? Any man who feels lucky to bed a woman knows nothing about her anatomy and libido. The most-famous Seinfeld episode is The Contest, about Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer competing to abstain the longest from masturbation. In the opening scene, they are at their familiar table in the coffee shop, where George admits that his mother had just caught him in a self-pleasuring bout. Humiliated, he vows never again to repeat such behavior. Because Jerry doubts Georges fortitude, George challenges him to a duel, at $100. Kramer wants in, as does Elaine. The three guys, however, claim that Elaine has an unfair advantage: shes a woman, who doesnt have a mans intense need to masturbate. George wants 2:1 odds from Elaine; Kramer demands $1000! Elaine offers $150, which the men quickly accept. This hilarious episode broke big sitcom ground, cleverly covering masturbationa taboo topicwithout ever mentioning it. Although brilliantly written and acted, its based on a lie about female libido. Have you ever heard a woman, honest about her strong sexuality, apologetically say: I guess Im wired like a man? What bullshit. Shes wired like a normal woman!
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The societal lie about female libido causes and compounds all male deference towards women. It makes men behave stupidly and waste lots of money, time, and energy to get laid, and motivates women to manipulate men for meals, clothes, jewelry, car payments, and vacations. Deference backfires every time. Why dont men understand this? Because girls traditionally have been raised to downplay, deny, and suppress their libidos, and men are taught, in typical anti-male fashion, that they are carnivorous pigs. Because of sexual hangups and the great divide, most men dont realize, or want to accept, that females are starved for orgasms and masturbate more frequently than males, in more venueshome, car, airplane, office, pool, wherever. Polite members of society are in denial about thisas if they received their sexual education at The Flat Earth Society. Boozers Are Losers A man who believes that, to get laid, he must ply a woman, and himself, with alcohol is a loserwith no confidence in his sexual acumen. How much can he genuinely arouse her if booze, not his personality, is his seduction tool? Not much. Whats the probability shell bang him out of raw attraction, and have real orgasms,
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while committing a DUIdebauchery under the influence? Low. She has her best orgasms when totally emotionally present. Real seduction requires sobriety. If you booze, youll loseand probably crash and burn. And, no collision insurance can protect you. Male Power Todays females are very different, sexually, than their mothers and grandmothersjust check out their X-rated videos on YouTube and their bisexuality-forsport activities in highschools and colleges. These millennium nymphettes sexually flaunt themselves and downplay, deny, and suppress nothing. Only men who grasp the intensity of female libido will realize their own power. Thats right: the strong libido of the female imbues the male with superior sexual powerjust as the strong cravings of a drug addict give the dealer superior power. Whoever has more power can set the price, right? Conversely, the man who doesnt understand this dynamic, and continues deferring to women, will be blind to both his own lack of game and his potential to reclaim it. Accordingly, women will seek, land, and cheat on such naïve, subservient guys and manipulate them for cash, bling, cars, clothes, vacations, and meals.
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CHAPTER 3: The Power of Aural Sex Canine Lingus Its a time-honored belief that the dog is mans best friend. Yes, a dog will fetch your slippers, scare an intruder, and help you hunt
if thats your sport. But, a dog also will sap your wallet from the food, grooming, toys, and kennel services you must purchase. Fido will require frequent walking, shed fur on your sofa, pee on your carpet, bark when youre not home, and bite the mailman. Given the 65 million dogs in the USA, thoughone canine for every 4.5 humansits clear that people tolerate much to have their faces licked. Even if he doesnt realize it, every man with a girlfriend or wife has a better friend than a dog: his womans clitoris, her clit. If a man likes the comfort of his dog loyally following him around, breathing heavily with its tongue hanging out, he will love how he can affect his woman by taking command of her clit. Her Ignition Switch A womans clit is her ignition switch; she dreams of the man who can crank it. According to my lady friends, though, most men either dont know the clits location or operation sequence, or they view it as an
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arcade game to be accessed and activated only by feeding it cash. How very sad
and off the mark. While shes dreaming that her aural man will appear, shes masturbating. Because of socialization and naïveté, most men are shocked to learn just how frequently women masturbate. Why do you think they own vibratorsjumper cables? When I ask a woman that question, she usually answers: Using my hand takes too long. Demanding and impatient! Imagine that. Its rare that I meet a vibratorless woman. Sex toys are big business, with annual purchases in the USA estimated at $500M. And, these sex toys are not for menat least not the men in the Red states. Women just cant live without their daily orgasms, and they freely divulge this to me. Eva Longoria, a star of Desperate Housewives, claims to have crate-loads of sex toys stashed in her garage for dispensing as presents to her friends. She told the Daily Mirror:
it is important for women to be in touch with their sexuality
they [sex toys] are the best present because a lot of women wont go buy one. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, she confessed that her best sex of the year was probably with her vibrator. She continued: I give that [Rabbit vibrator] as a gift all the time to other girls for a birthday Copyright
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or the like. Its the best gift to give: an orgasm. Guys, do you know any men who behave this way? I dont. Why are females so super-sexual? Three reasons: the clit, ability to have multiple orgasms, and multiple sources of orgasms. Girls hate for men to know about their libidosbecause men have been taught the opposite; women dont want to lose their manipulative advantage. Society has pressured girls to downplay, deny, and suppress their sexual cravings; they play along with the rusequite successfullyto get lots of privileges and free dinners, vacations, and jewelry. The clit has only one purpose: sexual arousal. There are countries in this world where every young girl must undergo a routine clitoridectomy, or clitoral mutilation. This despicable procedure is designed to delete her ability ever to achieve sexual pleasure, which seems to threaten the men in those countries. Its a very sick practice, but it does prove my point: a womans sexual identity and power are linked to her clitoris. Lets compare male and female sexuality. Unlike a woman, a man has no body part, like the clit, that is 100% dedicated to sexual arousal. Strike one. Unlike a man, a woman can have multiple, sequential orgasms without any breaks. Ive been with women who can come 45 times in 30 minutes, followed by orgasm Copyright
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headaches and the need for Tylenol. Strike two. Finally, a hot woman can climax from kisses on her lips, neck, nipples, back, and inner thighs, and from stimulation of her clitoris, vaginal walls, and anus. Strike three. There you have it. These three sets of capabilities make the woman a human sex machine; you cannot in any way compete with that. Getting the picture, now? I wrote above that the typical man thinks the clit is coin-operated. He reflexively grabs his wallet in a womans presence, believing the wining/dining ritual will arouse her. It doesnt. It can make her happy, like a princess, but it doesnt stimulate her clit. Never confuse dollar signs in her eyes with juice in her pussy. Its amazing how many women have spent years with men, living in financial comfort, without ever being truly aroused. In addition to being selfish, they cheat on their boyfriends and husbands in the quest for
orgasms. Cranking Her Ignition Switch The truth is, a womans clit is voice-operated, not coin-operated. She likes aural sexa man cranking her ignition switch via her ears. No, Im not describing an otological fetish. Im asserting that the keys to truly arousing a woman are your words and voice tonality, not your cash; this process begins on the phone. Again, you
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are not to use a velvet voice to woo her with promises of gifts and tripsthats the eunuchs approach. To review, please see my Art of Seduction chapter in The Mans No-Nonsense Guide to Women. The insecure eunuch is hopelessly drawn to the woman who demands to be purchased like a parcel of land. Her radar can detect your propensity to buy wine, meals, jewelry, and vacations to get laid. She will say that your largesse makes her feel special and feminine. Such nonsense is a vagina monologue that mustnt ever become a dialogue. If your esteem is so low that youll oblige this whore, you are your own worst enemyand she never will respect you. The man skilled at aural sex, on the other hand, operates in the opposite waywithout providing any treasure. He talks directly to a woman. He shocks her, challenges her, teases her, arouses her, and tells her in what positions hed like to do her. She will admire and respect his self-confidence and his attitude that he is more than his wallet. Youll know a woman genuinely wants you when she responds to your aural sex with openly expressed sexual desire, without expecting financial rewards. When she giggles like a schoolgirl and admits to getting
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lathered up just hearing your voice, you are succeeding at aural sex. So, now that you know the truth about her shes a sex machine who needs to be crankedyou have no more excuses for buying your way in. You talk your way in. Once you activate and crank her ignition switch, her clit, theres one more requirement: you also must operate it effectively. More about that later. Why She Likes Bad Boys Have you ever noticed the sultry demeanor of a woman around a bad boyas opposed to her probity in the presence of a perfect gentleman? The difference can be quite stark. By bad boy, Im referring to an irreverent, iconoclastic, articulate, cocky, naughty, earthy, bawdy manlike The NoNonsense Man! Let me state for the record that a bad boy is not an abusive man. A woman attracted to an abusive mansomeone who hurts and demeans heris pathetic and sick. A man who hurts and demeans women is also sick and pathetic. Sick is attracted to sick. Both need help. Tom Leykis, host of The Tom Leykis Show, tells his core listenersmen in their 20s and 30sto treat women like crap, because thats what they want. His
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definition of treating a woman like crap: get her drunk, converse minimally, and fornicate her sans emotion or commitment. Tom claims, from experience, that treating women well will lead only to broken hearts, unwanted children, and empty wallets. His daily callers validate with glee the success of using this harsh method. Whats going on here? Its simple, really. Girls are raised to disrespect boys and men. Boys are raised to bow down and worship females. Women and girls see males as loserson TV, in schools, in legislatures, in courting, in marriage, in divorce, and in domesticviolence disputes. Although women benefit from the undeserved entitlements vaginized men have handed them, they glower back to the men in response. No good deed shall go unpunished. Deference backfires, always. Women, hence, hunger forand get aroused by independent, confident, politically incorrect, iconoclastic men who have the balls to stand up to them. In other words, women like bad boysmen who arent eunuchs, politically correct wimps, and vaginized sissies. Whats the connection? A bad boy is a master clit stimulator, a skill that gives him great power. He knows how to use aural sex to crank her enginewithout cash, booze, or jumper cables. Its all about the clitoris.
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Aural Vignettes I hereby present two, real vignettes from my life to illustrate the power of aural sex. The first one occurred with a specific woman. The second is fairly generic and representative of what typically happens to me on the telephonea very powerful instrument. Vignette #1 This woman and I were strangers, seated next to each other at the bar of a restaurant. She had just asked me about the premise of my first book. Heres how she reacted to me:
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Vignette #2 This woman and I are talking on the phone, say, the second time. Weve not yet met. I live in Northern California, she in Los Angeles. Its a prototype of the conversation Ive had with numerous women. It exemplifies how to seduce a woman before ever touching herthe objective of aural sex. Lets join it in process:
NoNonsense Bottom Line It is paramount to seduce a woman before ever laying a hand on her. No cash, no booze. Use your personality and voice. This power will crank her engine. Copyright
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CHAPTER 4: Is She Faking It?
Remember Meg Ryan faking an orgasm to Billy Crystal at the restaurant table in When Harry Met Sally? Women talked about that scene for years, citing it as proof positive that they could imperceptibly deceive their partners in bed. Is this really possible? It depends. Like revving an engine in neutral, a woman will fake it to indulge a man who doesnt arouse her especially after he buys her expensive meals and gifts. If unfamiliar with female physiology and emotions, a man will be unable to detect her counterfeit climax. Despite a womans disingenuous reassurances to spare your ego, orgasms are very, very important to her. Thats why, more likely than not, she owns a vibrator, which will make her come 100% of the time. She cant, wouldnt, and doesnt fake it with her vibrator, right? Accordingly, such mechanized effectiveness makes BOB, her battery-operated boyfriend, your direct competitor. You are a fool to think otherwise. Why should you care if she fakes it? Faking is lying. Faking is an insult, a form of condescension. A woman who fakes her orgasms doesnt enjoy fucking you and, eventually, will cheat on and/or tire of you. Copyright
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The obvious question is: How can you tell she is faking her orgasms? Before I answer that, there are three other steps to discuss. Step one: verify that your potential partner is totally healthymentally, medically, physically, physiologically, and emotionally. Sexual hangups, history of abuse, medications, stress, and gynecological maladies are but a few of the reasons a woman can be orgasmically challenged. If such is the case with a girl you fancy, dont waste your time with her. How to know? Use the simple orgasm-verification technique: interrogation. Ask if she typically has orgasms with men (without her vibrator), has multiple orgasmsand whether shes a screamer, a moaner, or the strong-and-silent type. I find women to be pretty honest about this. If her reply is tepid, its safe to conclude that shes incapable of reenacting The Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906. Next! Step two: determine why shes going to bang you or is banging you. There are two possible reasons: 1) she has raw attraction to you, without cash or booze; or 2) she feels obligated because of your generous wining & dining. If you dont know which reason it is, youre in trouble. Read on. Step three: assess your acumen in the sack. Be honest. If youre uncertain, heres a litmus test: When Copyright
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you talk on the phone to a girl who thinks youre great in bed, she typically relives, in graphical detail, your previous sexual encounters. She giggles like a schoolgirl, stammers, describes her sexual dreams about you, and initiates phone sex. If, instead, she obsesses about new restaurants to try or movies to see, on your nickel, she thinks you stink in bed. Its that simple. The graphic below shows the two polar-opposite conditions of female orgasms: real, if shes genuinely attracted to you and your sexual acumen is great; fake, if shes giving you the obligatory sympathy fuck and your sexual acumen is poor. In between the poles is the mixed bagan unpredictable combo of real and fake.
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The main point of the graphic above is to hammer home the importance of being with a woman who has real orgasms with you. Real orgasms beget satisfaction and constant craving for you. Conversely, fake orgasms beget dissatisfaction, fantasies about fucking other men, infidelity, and eventual breakup. When is a woman really coming? This is easy to tell, especially during cunnilingus. Like Meg Ryan, she will be screaming or moaning loudly. But, theres more. She will thrash her body abouterratically, randomly, and spasmodically. She will arch her back and thrust her hips wildly. Her face will be flushed. She will gasp for breath. And, like an earthquake, she will exhibit aftershocks for several minutes after each time she comes. Best of all, she will beg you to stopright before she almost passes out. The next day, her voice will be hoarse from screaming. She cannot fake these things. Given the importance of real orgasms, it is critical that you immediately stop any and all of your wining & dining habits and practices. They drain your wallet and manhood, and coax women who will fake their orgasms, just to fool you into buying more dinners and jewelry. Also, you must hone your sexual skills so that, when you attract the right women, you can satisfy them.
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CHAPTER 5: Under the Clitoral Hood Introduction Most of us never learned muchif anything about what goes on under the hood of a car. Weve seen it open, even looked inside, but those strange-looking parts with funny names are a complete mystery. We take it for granted and assume everything will operate as expected. We get in, turn the key, crank the engine, put the transmission in gear, stoke it, and drive away. Some of us can navigate the curves; others scrape and collide. Some of us acquire affordably; others are payment slaves. Occasionally, we get penalized for going too fast, not stopping when ordered, changing direction without signaling, and parking in prohibited places. Even if mechanically challenged, were at least aware that not keeping the engine cool and lubricated will cause it to cease functioning one daybut we dont know which day. And, when our car doesnt operate as expected, we curse it, cognizant that well have to rely on an expert to pop the hood, sniff around, and use his tools to adjust the partsand then crank that engine anew. We envy and admire this expert, whose knowledge
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and skill equal power, because he can make that engine purr as if the car responds better to him than to us. This car metaphor so uncannily describes a typical mans relationship with a woman, it makes me laugh. Two differences come quickly to mind, though: the car cant hate or sue us; once we get rid of it, the communications and financial obligations end! The major difference, however, is that a man does not have to satisfy his car to keep it. The car must satisfy him. This, of course, is not the case with a woman. In todays mobile society, in which women have the means and freedom to replace you, satisfying her in bed is paramount. Fortunately, I spent much of my childhood and adolescence helping my dad repair our familys cars and appliances, receiving a major asset in the process: a logical framework for diagnosing and solving problems. Despite earning degrees in engineering and business, and working as an executive in technology and finance, diagnosing the female is my favorite quest. Expertise in the layout and functions of the parts under her clitoral hood will greatly enhance your life and reduce your frustration. And, when she discovers you can drive and maintain a vulva, shell worship you.
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Know Her Engine To drive and maintain a vulva, you must know whats under the hood. Our journey begins with a cross section (left-side view) of the female genitalia. Maybe you havent seen this diagram since highschool health class, but I recommend that you study it again. After a lifetime of sexual activity, seeing this layout gives one a better perspective on how a woman is built and functions.
Notice the distance between the clitoris and the vaginait varies from woman to woman and affects the sexual positions she will enjoy. The sensitivity, size, and position of her clit influence the number, kind (clitoral, vaginal, etc.), frequency, and intensity of her orgasms. Copyright
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The vulva is the collective term for the females external genitalia, the vaginal opening being only one part. Most people incorrectly use the term vagina. At the top of the clinical-view diagram below is the clitoral hoodthe flap of skin, akin to a males foreskin, that covers her clitoris. When she becomes aroused, her clit engorges with blood and becomes very sensitive. A man skilled at aural sex can stimulate her clit with his voice, without ever touching her. Trust me. The labia minor are the protruding, dark-colored folds of skin, known as bat wings. The puffy, bun-like lips, which meet to form her crack, are the labia major.
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Below is a rear view of the vulva. Its beautiful owner is ready for entry, but her vulva parts arent as visible as in the clinical-view diagram on the previous page. As she is lying in the prone position, her clitoris and clitoral hood, as you will notice, are on the bottom. Her vaginal opening is near her anus, so rear penetration wont rub her clit unless she can tilt her pelvis forwardeither by resting on her elbows and knees, or by lying flat with a large pillow under her tummy. If shes hot, vaginal and cervical stimulation alone can work well, extremely well, but sexual positions that also stimulate her clit will maximize her orgasms.
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CHAPTER 6: The Test-Drive Before going to the proving ground, review the checklist below. First, ensure that shes safe for you. Second, verify that she comes without a vibrator. Third, prove that shes banging you out of raw attraction, not obligation. Fourth, verify that you aurally stimulate her. Finally, if past women have confirmed that youre great in the sack, you obviously know female anatomy, have proven technique, and are ready to crank her engine.
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Aural Before Oral Ive reserved the physical component of this book for the final chapter. So many guys still believe that, taking a girl to dinner, plying her with booze, going back to her place, and jumping her bones will rock her world. It wont. But, shell rock your wallet. Lose this mentality! Just because youre inside a woman doesnt mean youve achieved anything other than getting a sympathy fuck for the money youve spentin other words, hiring a legal prostitute. My objective, all along, has been to teach you only to bed a woman whos wildly attracted to you, one whom you have qualified and seduced in advance of carnal relations. When the sound of your voice moistens and pulsates her pussy, you are a master of aural sex. Avoid a woman whose ignition sequence includes food and jewelry: shes a whore. Avoid a woman who advocates committing a DUIdebauchery under the influence: shes a drunk or considers you an amateur, soon to become a blur. And, avoid a woman who, during intercourse, requires jumper cables: either she deems your sparkplug unworthy, or her battery is dead, or she has intimacy issues, or all of the above. When talking to her on the phone or in person, the more you tease her, the more youll stimulate her Copyright
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clit. A woman will crave any man who can soak her panties through repartee. Thats your goal. Have a nice chat mixed with humor, current events, and bantering. Never coddle or defer; never be a prim-and-proper eunuch. If you disagree with her, say so. If she wants to go someplace objectionable, decline. Honesty works. Once you develop a strong rapport, her defenses and inhibitions will drop, and she will unleash amazing sexuality. She will beg you to fuck her. Thats what you want, right? It sure beats buying her, doesnt it? But, if you want to make her panties dry faster than Turtle Wax
on a sun-baked bumper, just mention
how much youd like to buy her dinner. Oral Before Vaginal Because a woman can have more orgasms, and more kinds of orgasms, than you, dont engage your turbocharger until the final lap. This means wearing her out with cunnilingus until she is ecstatic and exhausted from orgasms. Then, and only then, should you fuck her. If she is multiorgasmica true bonusshell keep coming and screaming until her big head throbs. Keep the Tylenol
handy. Shell fall asleep before you do!
An ex-girlfriend confessed that it was routine for her to masturbate after a previous boyfriend had fallen Copyright
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asleep. He wasnt cranking her engine. Happily, with me, she always fell asleep firstafter taking Tylenol. The key to revving her engine during cunnilingus is adjusting your clit stimulation while learning her response. Begin by spreading her labia, at the top, while pushing back her clitoral hood to expose the clit. Start licking and sucking it, even biting it gently. Watch her face, listen to her voice, and observe her movements. Is she enjoying herselfand youor filing her nails? If she isnt into it, stop everything to ask why. If her answer stinks, terminate her. If she offers helpful feedback, take it. Adapt, adjust, and alternate your technique: faster, slower, more intense, more delicate, etc. Peruse her entire engine. Lick inside her vagina, around the labia, along her inner thighs and perineum, around her navel and pelvis, and then return to her clit. With your finger, massage her G-spot, located on the bumpy skin under the pubic bone, inside the vagina. Be aware of what works, when. As she approaches climax, she will lose total control of herselfyou could almost get her to sign over her life savings! Power = Endurance + Technique + Adaptability. Trust me, if you can crank her engine and drain her fuel tank, she will hand you the keys and beg you to drive for a long time. Just make sure she pays to refill that fuel tank. Copyright
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The Final Lap Now, its time to shift into overdrive and engage that turbocharger of yours. After you have sufficiently exhausted her with your tongue, its time to check her oil with your dipstick. Dont let her rest. To maximize clit stimulation, put her directly atop you, on her tummy, with her legs between yours. Grab her hips to slide her alternately toward the headboard and the footboard. Control her movements, no matter how much she wants to lead. Shell go berserk with ecstasy. Of course, while shes impaled on you, shell want her nipples licked and bitten, and her hair pulled. You knew that, right? Try to wait as long as possible before adding your quart of 10W40 to her crankcase. After all, youre entitled to some pleasure, right? When she detects your flow, shell likely come again and then fall off of you, back onto the bed. She will be experiencing more of those aftershocks I described in the fourth chapter (Is She Faking It?) and unable to talk, walk, or complain about anything. Does it get any better than this?!? The Banana in the Tailpipe In the movie Beverly Hills Cop, Detective Axel Foley, played by Eddie Murphy, pulled a funny stunt to stymie the cops assigned to monitor his activities. They
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were on a stakeout, parked across the street from his hotel. Foley wanted to investigate something, and he needed to lose them for a while. So, he snuck up behind their car, inserted several bananas into the tailpipe, and then drove away in his car. The cops were unsuccessful in chasing him, because the bananas had caused their car to stall in the middle of Wilshire Boulevard. When you insert your banana into a womans tailpipe, especially her first time, shell likewise become immobilized. Its an unnatural feeling for her and a real power trip for you. She is totally at your mercya turnon for both parties. You must be very gentle; she has to be extremely relaxed, trusting, and prelubricated. And, its even nicer if shes taken a long, comprehensive bath beforehand, if you know what I mean. Once accustomed to this forbidden act, though, she can have some pretty wild orgasms. Moreover, its amazing that, when once she couldnt even imagine letting you enter her tailpipe, shell henceforth beg you to do soagain and again. Whats greater than seeing a grown woman wax incredulous from having a new sexual experience? Very little. Shell never forget it or you.
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CHAPTER 7: The Finish Line As you reflect on what you have absorbed from the information-packed pages of this primer, I hope you are contemplating some major life changes. All our socialization about women and relating to them is wrong. Now, you know the truth: deference is self-destructive, women crave orgasms and bad boys, and entitled women fake orgasms to steal your cash. If you choose to cling to the old, disempowering beliefs and patterns of your past, you will continue to encounter the same entitled women, experience the same frustrations, and waste more of your money. Like a car, a woman will take you where you guide herassuming shes a good match and youre a good driver. Ignore her rattles and pings, and shell stop operating, strand you, or put you in a ditch. A woman will have many, real orgasms and crave the skilled man who gives them to her, if she is naturally orgasmic and wildly attracted to him. While this book is not a compendium of sexual positions and techniques, it offers the key to savoring your favorite ones with the right partnerat greater torque and higher RPMs. May your final lap be a victory lap. Copyright
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Marc H. Rudov, The NoNonsense Man, has gained a worldwide reputation as an authority on malefemale relationships, divorce, and men's rights. He is also author of The Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth and 30+ articles about the dealings between men and women. Mr. Rudov is the host of the podcast series NoNonsense Territory and has made appearances on international radio and TV programs to spread his no-nonsense message. Some of his musings, opinions, and articles are found on MensNewsDaily.com, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, BlowMeUpTom.com, Univision.com, The Albany Times Union, San Antonio Express-News, New York Post, TriCity Herald, Match.com, The Christian Science Monitor, The Westchester WAG, and In Search of Fatherhood®. Rudov is an investment banker and business consultant residing in Silicon Valley (Bay Area), California, formally educated with an engineering degree from the University of Pittsburgh and an MBA from Boston University. Mr. Rudov is available for media interviews, radio & TV appearances, debates, and speaking engagements.
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